HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABE!

Today is our 9th anniversary!  My wife has put up with a lot of crap out of me.  I love her very much.  I thought I’d use my little plot on the web to express my love for her and wish her a Happy Anniversary.

To quote one of our favorite comedians… “Getting married is not taking a leap of faith.  When you’re getting married you think everything is going to be great.  The leap of faith comes years later when she’s like, ‘Wow, he’s fat and it’s not gonna change’… and he’s like, ‘She ain’t gettin’ any nicer’… but you still vow to love one another.”

So true!  I love you, Jineen.

I’m Done with Smiley’s

I just recently read something from a male friend of mine, and he used the semi-colon smiley face… you know, the one that is supposed to be winking at you. I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s really feminine. I’m done with smiley’s.” I’ll be honest… I use them a lot, but there’s NOTHING masculine about typing a “wink” to someone. Plus, they are “cute” which goes against everything manly. I now wish I could take back the hundreds of colon-parenthesis combos I’ve typed out over the years.

Not to mention the fact that it’s getting real close to annoying with all the different combos that people have invented in recent times… “:D” for a really big smile… “:O” if you’re surprised… “:(” if you’re sad… “:((” if you’re REALLY sad… it goes on and on. Oh, and this one… >… a man with a goatee smiling at you… wonderful.

And the most annoying use of it is when you say something derogatory or piercing then throw in a to lighten the blow. “Well, if you lost a little weight he’d probably notice you ” Nice try!

Is anybody with me on this one?

Consideration for the Rest of Us

Guys, cut your freakin’ toe nails!  And if not… wear shoes!

The Ultimate To Do List

BDubs started a conversation about your ultimate to do list… what are the things you HAVE to do before you bite it.  So, if you’re reading this, feel free to blog on it and connect to this link.

My Ultimate To Do List:

1. Play golf at Augusta National (or other prestigious course).

2. Travel to Italy.

3. Get to my ideal weight… around 190.

4. See the Cubs win the World Series.

5. Be in a comedy… movie or sit-com.

What does your ultimate to do list look like?

Relating to the Culture

Alright all you pastors out there… listen up!  Please stop “being relevant” by drawing cheesy analogies from TV shows and movies in your sermons!  I have NEVER heard one that worked yet!  Seriously, “Extreme Makeover” can only be used so many times for a sermon series or weekend retreat!  It’s got to stop!

I know the seminary taught you that your six-point, alliterated sermons had to relate to secular culture, but trust me… it’s not working.  If I hear one more sermon about “Hell:  The Ultimate Fear Factor, ” I think I’ll scream.

When we talk about being relevant, I truly believe we’re talking about being real!  Relating to people’s lives!  NOT copying from current media just so you can have a 2007 version of the same sermon you preached in 1983.  No more “CSI: Claiming Souls Indeed”… no more “Extreme Makeover: Soul Edition”… no more… please!

I Don’t Get It…

Banks charging you for insufficient funds. So, they’re basically saying, “Hey, you don’t have any money! We’re going to charge your account… the account with no money!” What? I don’t get it!

Cashiers with NO basic math skills. I’m not knocking the cashier… I just don’t get why they aren’t working in other departments. It’s Target and Wal-Mart management that needs to step up. There are no math skills required to man the dressing rooms… or a sample stand… or to walk around in your blue vest pretending to talk on the walkie-talkie. Just please stay away from the cash register. Luckily, most modern registers are computerized so that the change that you owe the customer is figured for you. However, have you ever had a bill of say… $8.76? So you give them a $10 bill… they type “10.00″ and their screen tells them to give you back $1.24. Then you realize you have penny so you give it to them so you can get a quarter back. You have just completely thrown them off of everything they just read in the Employee Manual . Trust me… take the penny back and let them give you the two dimes and four pennies! It’s not worth it!

My favorite is when the bill is $10.76, so I give them a $20 bill, a $1 bill and a penny which would give me a $10 bill and a quarter as change. Instead, I hear this from the cashier, “Here, you gave me too much” along with a big smile like he/she is doing me a big favor – followed by him/her giving me the $1 bill and penny back. Again, don’t bother… just take the $5 bill, four $1 bills, two dimes and four pennies and be done with it. Again, I’m not bashing the cashiers… I’m just saying I don’t get how K-Mart thought this was a good fit!

What’s Your Obsession?

So, there have been 7,623 books written on passion… vision… etc. (I just made that up so don’t go quoting it in your next presentation or small group.) In just about every book, speech, workshop and devotional that I’ve read or heard on the subject, it always comes down to one question… what are you passionate about? or WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION?

I’ve often pondered this question, and I always run into the same road block. I can come up with two or three things that I would say I’m passionate about… things that I could easily do every day and never get burnt out. BUT, I get stuck on transposing those passions onto a career idea. Does anyone out there know how to communicate to a non-creative person (like me) how to take these things and develop them into career opportunities?

I’ve heard it said before that the key to success is finding what you love to do then finding a way to make money with it. That’s what I’m trying to do, but I get stuck.

Who out there has intentionally said, “Okay, this is what I love to do” and then gone out and found a way to make money doing it? I want to hear your story!

In case you were wondering, here are the things I’m passionate about… GOLF, serving people (meeting needs, hanging with people, etc.), travel, family. So, let me hear it. Toss me some ideas!

Shane & Jineen Glover

Shane & Jineen Glover

Originally uploaded by shaneglover

Seriously, my wife is gorgeous!!!

JERRY FALWELL… LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM?

Jerry Falwell was a visionary! I saw first-hand his love for God… his love for people… his love for this country. Regardless of your political stance, position with God or place in society, these are three things that are not debatable.

I attended Liberty University from 1994-98. I worked in Dr. Falwell’s office for three of those years and was able to see on an almost-daily basis how one man (empowered by God) could change a nation. I witnessed one of the busiest men I’ve ever seen still make time to chat with college students, attend athletic events, love on people… this man’s life was an open book.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t agree with every word he said or the circumstance in which he said it. I often found myself burying my face in my hands when I would hear him quoted on FoxNews or CNN. He was human… believe it or not! But this man was the real deal!

And now, in his death, you see morons like author Christopher Hitchens spewing pure hatred. Check out his column commenting on the death of Jerry Falwell… http://www.slate.com/id/2166337/. It’s one thing to disagree with someone… it’s quite another to be so full of hate… so wicked… so un-human! I saw him interviewed on Hannity & Colmes… he said he doesn’t care if it hurt his family… he doesn’t believe in hell, but if he did he said it would be a place for Jerry Falwell… pure hatred!

Here’s the deal… regardless of your thoughts about Jerry Falwell, doesn’t his family deserve a few days to mourn? It’s called human decency! It’s people like Christopher Hitchens that just need to be loved.

WHAT’S THE POINT? LOVE PEOPLE… EVEN JERKS!

ANNOYANCES

So, up to this point I’ve blogged out of inspiration. I’ve gone the longest without posting (5 days) because I haven’t been inspired. I’ve sat down a couple of times to try to come up with something, but every time I did it felt forced… unoriginal… blatantly not funny… like other blogs I have read. And I thought to myself, “Hey Champ, your fans don’t deserve this. Bro, you have set an extremely high standard for intelligent, witty, thought-provoking posts. Don’t blow it now.” So, I’m in a bit of a quandary… I don’t want to be the guy who posts on his blog like once a month… but I also can’t force it! It has to just come to me… and flow out of me.

So, in lieu of a topic not inspiring me, I thought I’d throw out a couple of things that have really annoyed me the last couple of days and see if anyone can relate…

1. People stopping on a merge. Seriously, there are two lanes of traffic coming… the third lane in front of you (where there are NO cars) is there for you to more easily weave into traffic! You are a spiritual stumbling block for me! When you stop… I Christian cuss!

2. People driving on the shoulder during a traffic jam so they can make it even WORSE by forcing there way into traffic further up. WHERE ARE THE FREAKIN’ COPS? Thanks for patrolling the Wal-Mart parking lot to make sure I don’t sit in my car waiting for my wife in the fire lane, but there are serious crimes being committed on the interstates! Let’s get some priorities!

Okay, that’s it for now. I’ll try not to go as long next time, but I WILL NOT force creative genius!